GARMENT ENHANCEMENT BULLETIN // FORM 9-TORQUE

Effective immediately, all authorized TORSO COVER UNITS (casually described as “t-shirts” by Experience Enthusiasts and Class-3 Perceptual Loiterers) will now include one (1) officially distributed Non-Catalogued Flat Instance.

Each Instance is:

• Printed on reality-adjacent memorypaper™
• Mildly rectangular
• Functionally inert (unless observed indirectly)

Visual contents may include:

• A series of symbols that refuse to resolve into meaning
• An unidentified figure waving from a stairwell
• The word “CAUTION” printed in lowercase for legal reasons

This Instance is not part of a set, not affiliated with any known acquisition schema, and does not carry an assigned rarity coefficient (as per Directive 14-B).

Please refrain from storing, discussing, alphabetizing, or emotionally bonding with your Instance.
Repeat offenders will be given a second one, which is widely considered worse.

Thank you for your ongoing indifference.
—Merchandise Compliance
“You bought a shirt. Now it comes with consequences.”

T-shirts are available at the Official IBS Company store ibsmart.biz